Bad antivirus software gives Windows a bad name. The first thing you should do whenever you get a new Windows computer is to completely remove any preinstalled antivirus software. I know, I’m totally crazy. But guess what? My computer runs a lot better than yours.
A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I installed SP2 on my Windows XP box, and haven’t been troubled by malware since. All it takes is some common sense and a healthy aversion to shady websites and file sharing.
Antivirus companies make millions of dollars by essentially crippling everyone’s computers in the name of protection. You know you’re running antivirus when:
- Your email software takes forever to do anything
- You are randomly blocked from completely harmless websites
- Half of the software and games you install don’t work right
- Your computer randomly crashes
Why is Windows antivirus software so bad? Simple: It has to act like a virus in order to catch a virus.
Antivirus software reaches its sticky tentacles into the internal bowels of your system, into that mysterious realm that is so undocumented that even Microsoft had to hire an outsider to teach classes on the subject to their own engineers! One wrong assumption, one small bug, and wham! The antivirus just turned into a virus.
And as if that weren’t enough, any time you try to read an email, open a web page, play a game, or–heaven forbid–save a file, your Friendly Neighborhood Antivirus Program is there to “help you out.” Kind of like this little guy. Here is the algorithm that I think must be drummed into every security company intern and new hire:
- Notice the user is trying to do something productive. If you aren’t sure, proceed to step 2 anyway.
- If at all possible, block them from doing what they want to do.
- If step 2 fails, at least put up a warning dialog box.
- If they click “OK” in step 3, let them proceed but slow down the operation by at least 50%.
- Send the user a monthly bill and PROFIT!
Now, don’t get me wrong. There is a lot of nasty malware out there. But with a few simple precautions, you too can be antivirus-free:
- Make sure you only connect to the Internet through a router, and enable it’s built-in firewall. NEVER, EVER plug your computer straight into a DSL or cable modem.
- Ensure the built-in Windows firewall is enabled. 3rd-party firewalls are just annoying and don’t help much in practice.
- Enable Automatic Updates.
- Don’t use Internet Explorer (IE). Firefox, Chrome, and Opera are all good alternatives.
- Don’t open, click on, or otherwise interact with email or IM attachments from people you don’t know (no matter how “sexy” they say the pictures are).
- Stop downloading illegal crap from P2P sites!
- Get off Windows XP already!
Fun fact: In Vista, Microsoft tried to block anti-virus software from doing naughty things and putting their claws where they don’t belong, but the anti-virus companies complained loudly, acting like someone just kicked their puppy. Eventually Microsoft was forced to open things up again.
Honestly, suggesting other browsers than IE? What a dumb idea.
Sure, let’s pick a browser with the SMALLEST support group, so that when we do get something nasty noone knows how to fix it. GREAT IDEA!!!
Listen up, Firefags! Your browser has plenty of problems, just like elitist macfags think they can never catch a virus (har har).
I do admit the latest version of IE seems pretty solid and secure, especially when running on Vista or Windows 7. However, I still personally prefer Opera since (a) it is faster, (b) it is more usable, and (c) it has the lowest number of security advisories among the top three most popular browsers (not counting Chrome). However, many websites still assume they are running in IE or Firefox, so once in a while you get a web page that doesn’t quite work right in Opera.
If you check out that security link, you will also notice that in general, Firefox fares better than IE. With Chrome it is still too early to tell, although the browser’s architecture was designed from the start with security in mind, and the auto-patching should allow them to get fixes distributed a lot faster than with IE. To their credit, the security issues that have been discovered so far were quickly patched.
All of the alternative browsers that I mentioned have a lot of company muscle behind them, with engineering teams focused on security. All things considered, it is much more important to get off of Windows XP than it is to drop IE, although I still think you are better off with Firefox (best compatibility) or Opera (best security).
Are you serious -_-
-IE has shitty standards-compliance. So bad that if it wasn’t packaged with Windows, nobody would bother switching to it.
-IE gives you Win32 viruses (assuming you’re still using shitty windows) You can quote all the stats and tests you want, but there’s nothing in the world that’ll change that fact.
-IE’s Javascript engine is much slower than Mozilla Firefox. I tried brute-forcing a math problem with JS before. Firefox got it in half a second. IE was still working after 5 minutes.
IE needs to die for the web to move on. Stop being a douche.