XP and Vista are obsolete. No more excuses. What you need to do, my friend, is upgrade to Windows 7.
Once you have that taken care of, banish IE to the far corners of the earth and install Google Chrome. It simply looks and feels like it was made for Windows 7. Simple. Elegant. Fast. And it even does that Aero glass thing.
Next, throw away your buggy, slow Windows anti-virus software. If this prevents you from sleeping at night, and/or you frequently browse, uh, questionable websites, Microsoft has some love for you. Or you could just stop going to those websites.
You should try dual-booting or virtualizing Windows 7. Really, it’s not evil. And it lets you play more games (for the 5-10 minutes a day when you aren’t on your iPhone). Of course, there’s still some cross-platform indie love out there. You do like robots, don’t you? I thought so.